Who is Barack OBama

WHO IS BARACK OBAMA?

There are many things people do not know about BARACK OBAMA. It is every American's duty to read this message and pass it along to all of their friends and loved ones. 

Barack Obama wears a FLAG PIN at all times. Even in the

shower. Barack Obama says the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE

every time he sees an American flag. He also ends

every sentence by saying, "WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE

FOR ALL." Click here for video of Obama quietly

mouthing the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE in his sleep. A

tape exists of Michelle Obama saying the PLEDGE OF

ALLEGIANCE at a conference on PATRIOTISM.Every

weekend, Barack and Michelle take their daughters

HUNTING. 

Barack Obama is a PATRIOTIC AMERICAN. He

has one HAND over his HEART at all times. He

occasionally switches when one arm gets tired, which

is almost never because he is STRONG. Barack Obama

has the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE tattooed on his

stomach. It's upside-down, so he can read it while

doing sit-ups.

There's only one artist on Barack Obama's

iPod: FRANCIS SCOTT KEY. 

Barack Obama is a DEVOUT CHRISTIAN. His favorite book is the BIBLE, which he has memorized. His name means HE WHO LOVES JESUS in the ancient language of Aramaic. He is PROUD that Jesus was an American. Barack Obama goes to church

every morning. He goes to church every afternoon. He

goes to church every evening. He is IN CHURCH RIGHT

NOW. Barack Obama's new airplane includes a

conference room, a kitchen, and a MEGACHURCH.

Barack Obama's skin is the color of AMERICAN SOIL. Barack

Obama buys AMERICAN STUFF. He owns a FORD, a

BASEBALL TEAM, and a COMPUTER HE BUILT HIMSELF FROM

AMERICAN PARTS. He travels mostly by FORKLIFT.

Barack Obama says that Americans cling to GUNS and

RELIGION because they are AWESOME.

Christopher Beam

is a Slate political reporter.

Article URL:

http://www.slate.com/id/2193798/Copyright 2008

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